Imeilus maailm, mida moned ei nae ja ei marka...Beautiful world that can't be seen by some or noticed...
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sunset Nov 2010
Imeilus maailm, mida moned ei nae ja ei marka...Beautiful world that can't be seen by some or noticed...
An Old Story...
There I was, standing on the cross road, cross road of the world. This is how I really felt at this moment and it was an amazing feeling.I wish that everyone could feel like that once in their lifetime. I am sure they can and I am sure they had, but I just wanted to share my feeling. Because there are people out there, who cannot feel that,simply because they are not able or they can't because they can't afford...
They can't even imagine and think of anything like that, because too many people sleepwalk trough their days, not feeling the importance of their lives.
So, I was there, standing, holding the cigarette between my long fingers, long nails covered with red polish, wearing a tasty short dress, showing my long tanned legs. Everything was ahead. I didn't know how it was going to end and I didn't know what the end was going to be like. I only knew I had nothing to loose.
I was walking down the aircraft and I didn't want to do that. We were just drinking good old red wine and I could feel his lips on mine. I knew I would feel them forever.....I was sure it will last for a lifetime and I didn't know why I am leaving, I didn't know why I wasn't running back, I was too scared to look back and I was crying and I was losing..
I remember these long phone conversations where I could only hear the tone of his voice, the speech didn't have the meaning, only his existence had a real meaning.
My soul was shaking, I was afraid, I didn't know the end..
The end was up to me, I could have changed my destiny. I had all the possibilities, the world was open in front of me, why I made the decision I did, why this way..
I could hear myself saying, enjoy, present is the only property, the past was gone and the future depends. I have the story now, it is my story, It was like reading the book, it seemed like I was watching the movie. Was I dreaming or was I awake? Is everything determined or is it all uncertain.
Seemed like all the traffic in the world was there, under this bridge, I was standing and smoking.....there were planes in a line on the runway waiting for the take off. There were jets landing in every two minutes, from everywhere in the world, flying to and from the places you could ever name.
It was the cross road of the world.
There were people from different backgrounds, with different life stories, and I saw them.... or did I....I'm not sure. I lived in my anticipation. I was too busy feeling so good, because he was waiting for me.
I was flying like a bird, free in the sky...
Summer 2001
They can't even imagine and think of anything like that, because too many people sleepwalk trough their days, not feeling the importance of their lives.
So, I was there, standing, holding the cigarette between my long fingers, long nails covered with red polish, wearing a tasty short dress, showing my long tanned legs. Everything was ahead. I didn't know how it was going to end and I didn't know what the end was going to be like. I only knew I had nothing to loose.
I was walking down the aircraft and I didn't want to do that. We were just drinking good old red wine and I could feel his lips on mine. I knew I would feel them forever.....I was sure it will last for a lifetime and I didn't know why I am leaving, I didn't know why I wasn't running back, I was too scared to look back and I was crying and I was losing..
I remember these long phone conversations where I could only hear the tone of his voice, the speech didn't have the meaning, only his existence had a real meaning.
My soul was shaking, I was afraid, I didn't know the end..
The end was up to me, I could have changed my destiny. I had all the possibilities, the world was open in front of me, why I made the decision I did, why this way..
I could hear myself saying, enjoy, present is the only property, the past was gone and the future depends. I have the story now, it is my story, It was like reading the book, it seemed like I was watching the movie. Was I dreaming or was I awake? Is everything determined or is it all uncertain.
Seemed like all the traffic in the world was there, under this bridge, I was standing and smoking.....there were planes in a line on the runway waiting for the take off. There were jets landing in every two minutes, from everywhere in the world, flying to and from the places you could ever name.
It was the cross road of the world.
There were people from different backgrounds, with different life stories, and I saw them.... or did I....I'm not sure. I lived in my anticipation. I was too busy feeling so good, because he was waiting for me.
I was flying like a bird, free in the sky...
Summer 2001
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Estonian summer 2010 Scott's first trip
I should be now writing how Scott liked Estonia and how everyone in Estonia liked him:) Before i forget all....maybe some things I have already forgotten, but i will try...
SO, it was his first time and about time!!! Before the trip he would ask all kindsa funny questions, like: who discovered Estonia and then he was making goals- swim in the Baltics and in the lakes of Rouge- southern Estonia, where our country home is.
Also, since the trip was around 4th of July, American Independence Day, he requested a party. Of course my friends said that in Estonia, there is a party starting in May and ending in August, so 4th July is included. And we did have a great party with many very good friends and Estonian foods and cakes and drinks.
First Scott landed in Helsinki in the morning - me and my brother were supposed to go and "pick" him up at the airport ....but, because the first boat made it there at the same time with the flight, we decided that he has to make it to the city on his own:) Of course, he was little nervous, I had to tell him that Finland is the nicest place on the planet and the Finnish people as well and it is very easy task:)
Me and my brother took a bus from the port to the railway station where we met....Scott was exhausted and all we did is went to have breakfast and then he walked to the first hotel and he went to sleep.........
after little sleep we did walk around Helsinki - Scott did not understand who planned all that hiking ...hmm, he did, all spring, fly to Helsinki, see the city and take the ferry to Tallinn.....that was the plan....but no one considered that he might be severly jet lagged :):)
not to mention, when i was buying the tickets to Helsinki, I had just arrived and i was also jetlagged....so i was not thinking and i got a return ticket from Helsinki to Tallin on a slow cruise boat!!! So Scott could enjoy all the drunken finns on Friday night cruise and all the insane shopping what was going on on the boat and karaoke etc. He could not comprehend what was going on...
sadly he missed a beautiful departure and granit islands on the coast of Helsinki, but he did see the most amazing entrance to Tallinn in summer sunset.
Since the terminal is soooo close to my mom's place me and my brother decided we will walk.....Scott could not understand that and was screaming half of the way how he needs a taxi and he refused to walk.....till my gf drove by in her car had come to meet us in the port and was little late) and picked him up and we still walked with my brother:) and made it to my mom's at the same time:)
So the next day- we took the Tallinn Old Town tour with bunch of friends and had so much fun.....sooooooooooo much fun we went to a outdoor restaurant on the City Square and climbed in the tower of the Town HAll, and took lots of pics. And then went to one more new roof top restaurant and then in the evening we all went to my best gf house for a dinner and sleep over.
On the third day we drove to the farm house, because it was 4th of July and our big party night!!! Scott met all my friends and their children and wifes and husbands and boyfriends etc.....following days were just full of "program" visiting friends, hosting them, hiking, siteseeing, BBQ-s....so busy .....something that Scott was scared of, that it will be Estonian Boot-Camp vacation - after what you actually need a vacation.
We went to Riga, the LAtvian capital- me, my brother, his wife and Scott. That is another story again, but it was a blast!
We also went swimming by Riga, in the Baltics, in Jurmala. One of the nicest resorts in Latvia.
Scott was a little confused with traffic in Estonia and the its culture and all the agressivness....my gf said that that's one of the options were/how slow-calm-cold-reserved-sleepy- Estonian vents its frustration.....
it was like OMFG, WTF is wrong with you!!! One sec in their life is so valuable that they rather run you over than stop...either u r in ur car or on the sidewalk
Other than that Scott liked the scenery, food, all my friends and family, my home town Tallinn, my farm house, nature, everything. He loved all very much. And everyone liked him, because he has great sense of humor, he is polite and friendly.
Estonians of course get little scared of toooo much friendliness and smiles, especially strangers....oh, and he liked all the good looking young grils on the streets and tried to get a pic with his blackberry of random chicks:):):):)
he also loved the hayroll fields and the big yellow blooming oilplant fields- dont know what this is called in English, they make oil of it. ANd the fields look very romantic and sunny. And Scott was excited about stork nests!!! Trying to take a pic of these big birds and their babies.
Anyways, now he has seen Estonia and how beautiful it is and he wants and needs to go back and see some more.....because there is so much more to see and enjoy!!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
26 AUGUST 2010 Neljapaev kl 4,15 pm
Siit on tegelt jube hea vaadata, eriti siis kui on midagi halvasti, et mis oli samal ajal eelmine aasta, voi 2 aastat tagasi voi siis 3 aastat tagasi.....rohkem tagasi minna ei saa...ja siis akki laheb tuju paremaks. Eelmine aasta oli ilus ja soe suvi ja ilus ja soe ja vaikne Vaikne Ookean ja sai hasti palju ujuda......sel aastal on vesi jube kylm ja ei lahegi vist soojaks...sest nyyd on old paar sooja paeva aga pidi jalle jahedaks tagasi minema. Eestis oli kyll hirmus ilus- (nalajaks kuidas me kasutame koledat sona et midagi ilusat kirjeldada) ilus suvi, vahepeal oli natuke liiga kuum, aga mina sain just oigel ajal tulema.
Igatahes, nyyd ma siis siin olen, nende hulludega siin hullumajas, kellel on koigil niipalju totraid probleeme, sest neil lihsalt paris probleeme ei ole. Siis hakkab neil igav ja nad hakkavad mingit motetut draamat korraldama ja mingi motetu jamaga tegelema. Yhtegi otsust siin vastu ei voeta, sest koik vist kardavad koike ja koiki. Mida nad kyll koik kardavad? Ja kardavad, et kellelgi voib akki paremini minna kui neil. Elavad oma hirmude ja alavaarsustega ja pyyavad koiki teisi maha teha ja seljatagant lyya....
Mul on siin yks mutt korval, keda ma iga sekund tahaks lihsalt ara lammatada...ja ma pean seda siin kirjutama, et ennast mitte hulluks lasta minna, sama hulluks nagu tema on siin lainud, sest ta on siin kuubikus yle 20 aaasta tootanud. Tal ei ole muud elu kui koju ja siia kuubikusse ja niimoodi paevast paeva ja nadalast nadalasse ja aastast aastasse juba kakskymmend aastat!!!! Kuidas see on voimalik?? Mitte mingit puhkust. Ma ei ole maailmas suuremat voltskust ja valetamist ja silmakirjatsemist ja teesklemist nainud. Ka ei ole ma nainud kedagi , kes on ise taidlane aastates mutt kellel oleks riided 5 numbrit vaiksemad seljas, pyksid, mis on igalpool vahel ja kust paistavad koik randid ja ei ole ma nainud koledamaid ja suuremaid ja vastikumaid tisse mida hoiavad toostuslikud rinnahoidjad, mis voidunud moel pluusi kaelusest paistavad.
Ma ei ole kuulnud rovedamat naeru ja nainud ilgemat flirtimist kui see inimene siin igapaev teeb. Naerab nagu mingi hull, iga sona ja lause jarel, kova haalega. Raagib kuidas ta kella 9ni igal ohtul tootab........ta tuleb toole kl 10 hommikul ja ta ei toota kella 9ni...
kondis minema......ykskoik kes on temaga koos WC-sse sattnud ytlevad, et nad ei ole iial kuulnud kedagi nii kaua kusemas kui teda.....ta joob terve paev plasttopside kaupa kohvi ja kaib seda iga 10 min jarel juurde toomas.
ok, olin just kutsutud just yhe oma normaalsema ylemusega raakima,......pyhaissand, neil on vaja sada aastat et lihtsamaid otsuseid vastu votta......isegi koige lihtsamaid.....
mismoodi asjad liiguvad? mismoodi?? teosammul.....
onneks saab tana ohtul ilusas kohas head ohtusooki syya ja head orgaanilist euroopa olut juua.....ma pean pogeenma siit , pogenema.......ara jooksma......
Igatahes, nyyd ma siis siin olen, nende hulludega siin hullumajas, kellel on koigil niipalju totraid probleeme, sest neil lihsalt paris probleeme ei ole. Siis hakkab neil igav ja nad hakkavad mingit motetut draamat korraldama ja mingi motetu jamaga tegelema. Yhtegi otsust siin vastu ei voeta, sest koik vist kardavad koike ja koiki. Mida nad kyll koik kardavad? Ja kardavad, et kellelgi voib akki paremini minna kui neil. Elavad oma hirmude ja alavaarsustega ja pyyavad koiki teisi maha teha ja seljatagant lyya....
Mul on siin yks mutt korval, keda ma iga sekund tahaks lihsalt ara lammatada...ja ma pean seda siin kirjutama, et ennast mitte hulluks lasta minna, sama hulluks nagu tema on siin lainud, sest ta on siin kuubikus yle 20 aaasta tootanud. Tal ei ole muud elu kui koju ja siia kuubikusse ja niimoodi paevast paeva ja nadalast nadalasse ja aastast aastasse juba kakskymmend aastat!!!! Kuidas see on voimalik?? Mitte mingit puhkust. Ma ei ole maailmas suuremat voltskust ja valetamist ja silmakirjatsemist ja teesklemist nainud. Ka ei ole ma nainud kedagi , kes on ise taidlane aastates mutt kellel oleks riided 5 numbrit vaiksemad seljas, pyksid, mis on igalpool vahel ja kust paistavad koik randid ja ei ole ma nainud koledamaid ja suuremaid ja vastikumaid tisse mida hoiavad toostuslikud rinnahoidjad, mis voidunud moel pluusi kaelusest paistavad.
Ma ei ole kuulnud rovedamat naeru ja nainud ilgemat flirtimist kui see inimene siin igapaev teeb. Naerab nagu mingi hull, iga sona ja lause jarel, kova haalega. Raagib kuidas ta kella 9ni igal ohtul tootab........ta tuleb toole kl 10 hommikul ja ta ei toota kella 9ni...
kondis minema......ykskoik kes on temaga koos WC-sse sattnud ytlevad, et nad ei ole iial kuulnud kedagi nii kaua kusemas kui teda.....ta joob terve paev plasttopside kaupa kohvi ja kaib seda iga 10 min jarel juurde toomas.
ok, olin just kutsutud just yhe oma normaalsema ylemusega raakima,......pyhaissand, neil on vaja sada aastat et lihtsamaid otsuseid vastu votta......isegi koige lihtsamaid.....
mismoodi asjad liiguvad? mismoodi?? teosammul.....
onneks saab tana ohtul ilusas kohas head ohtusooki syya ja head orgaanilist euroopa olut juua.....ma pean pogeenma siit , pogenema.......ara jooksma......
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
raamat
Yhel ilusal paikselisel paeval ma votan katte ja hakkan oma lubatud raamatut kirjutama. Nendest inimestest kellega elu on kokku viinud, ja nendest sonadest ja lausetest mis nende suust on valja tulnud. See on koik liiga hea, et seda enda teada jatta.
Ma kyll suuremal osal ajast ei saa aru, kuidas maailm edasi liigub, voi kuidas moni business edasi liigub. Sest suuremal osal ei ole yldse mingit aimu, kuidas maailm toimib. Osad inimesed elavad alles minevikus ja ilmselt jaavadki sinna elama. Monikord nad kyll panevad tahele, et midagi vist ilmselt on muutunud, aga seda vaid korraks ja siis lahevad nad tagasi sinna kuhu nad kunagi oma nooruses pidama vist jaid.
Osadel inimestel on Noukogude Liit ikka eksisteeriv element ja osadel vist on vast alles Leonid Breznev riigijuhiks seal ja siin on Ronald Reagan. Koige kuumem band on DuranDuran ja koik kaivad ringi peapaeltega.
Ja mina ise olen ju kommunist ja olen parit soviet unionist. Ja yldse olen ma tulnud USA-sse parema elu peale, sest mul Eestis oli vaga halb elu ju. .....
See on lausa uskumatu mida inimesed endale igapaev ette kujutavad. Ma tegelikult olengi tulnud siia koigi nendega kohtuma, ja nemad ongi mu parem elu. See ongi nyyd koik mu unistuste elu.
Ma pean veel ennast koguma ja oma motteid jarjestama....ja siis hakkama otsast peale...
niikaua pyyan oma oiguste eest voidelda ja iseenda eest seista...
Ma kyll suuremal osal ajast ei saa aru, kuidas maailm edasi liigub, voi kuidas moni business edasi liigub. Sest suuremal osal ei ole yldse mingit aimu, kuidas maailm toimib. Osad inimesed elavad alles minevikus ja ilmselt jaavadki sinna elama. Monikord nad kyll panevad tahele, et midagi vist ilmselt on muutunud, aga seda vaid korraks ja siis lahevad nad tagasi sinna kuhu nad kunagi oma nooruses pidama vist jaid.
Osadel inimestel on Noukogude Liit ikka eksisteeriv element ja osadel vist on vast alles Leonid Breznev riigijuhiks seal ja siin on Ronald Reagan. Koige kuumem band on DuranDuran ja koik kaivad ringi peapaeltega.
Ja mina ise olen ju kommunist ja olen parit soviet unionist. Ja yldse olen ma tulnud USA-sse parema elu peale, sest mul Eestis oli vaga halb elu ju. .....
See on lausa uskumatu mida inimesed endale igapaev ette kujutavad. Ma tegelikult olengi tulnud siia koigi nendega kohtuma, ja nemad ongi mu parem elu. See ongi nyyd koik mu unistuste elu.
Ma pean veel ennast koguma ja oma motteid jarjestama....ja siis hakkama otsast peale...
niikaua pyyan oma oiguste eest voidelda ja iseenda eest seista...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Office Art
that's what I do when i can't do it anymore!!!! when I lose it and when I can't take it anymore......one day I will write a book , I swear....
OMG
it's been already April, May, June, July and it is August.....time flies......I keep reading in books how people say that at some point time starts just racing by....so sad....busybusybusy
So-Cal has had some weird cold spring and chilly summer, and actually summer just started. I did have a great summer vaca in Estonia...here is a pretty pic of my amazing home town....TALLINN
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
VASTLAD
ma tegin vastlakukleid kaks korda...eesti jumalad kesiganes nad on, naiteks Hiietamm peaks olema minu yle uhke:)
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Utah osariigi kogemus
Sai kaidud Utah osariigis Salt Lake City's suuskamas:) nagu lubatud oli lumi suureparane, eriline, teistsugune, superohuline, ylipehme jnejne, sega koike nende geograafilisest asendist tingitud madala niiskuse sisalduse tottu. Maed olid nii suured, et motlesin, et pean maesuusatamise maha jatma:) algul ei saand minema ja parast ei saand pidama....ilusa paikselis-epehme-lumise-satendava muinasjutulise maeveeru pealt kahju ohtuhakul ara minna.
Yldse oli koik kuidagi teistmoodi kui Californias, inimesed olid kohe siiralt viisakad ja sobralikud, WC-d olid igalpool puhtad ja sook oli ka koige juhuslikemas kohtades jube hea, seda eriti minule, kes on soogi suhtes vaga pirtsakas.
Oli tunne nagu oleks teises riigis:) aga ikka sama riik ja sama keel.......aga teistsugused pohimotted ja ideed paljudel eksole...nagu teada on Utah mormooni-osariik ja vaga huvitav oli ka lopuks teada saada kuidas ja mis koik on. Mitte vaga pohjalikult, aga mingi baasteadmise, millest on kyll ja kyll. Vahel on religioon ikka mones motttes hea ka.
muud vist ei tule meelde, tahtsin enne kirja panna kui peast malestus minema hajub.
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